Decision making. Choices. Options. Personal judgments. Doing the right thing. All these phrases have one thing in common. That is, you trying to determine if something you are considering is right for you.
We make choices every day. For example, we make a choice on whether we will ride the bus or take a taxi. We choose between foods on a menu. We choose who we will be friends with or who we want date.
But there are times when making a choice isn’t as easy as deciding between chocolate and strawberry ice cream. Business or relationship decisions can have a profound effect on your life for years to come. You want to make the right choice for you.
How do you decide if something is right for you? Do you go with your gut instinct or do you make a pros and cons list of why? And what if that doesn’t work?
Everyone wants to make the best choices and know that they are the right decisions for themselves. But life isn’t that simple. In this guide you’ll get to-the-point ways to tell if you are making the right decision, as well as what to do if you are stuck between several choices.
How to Know If a Decision Is Right for You
Let’s face it – sometimes making the right decision can feel like you’re being pulled in two different directions. And then when you do make a decision, you’re not even sure it’s the right one. You begin second and third guessing your choice. This can lead to all kinds of negative thoughts and what-ifs. Do yourself a favor and learn how to trust your choices.
Here are five ways to determine if you know you are making the right decision for you.
1 – Listen to Your Intuition
Often, making the right choice comes down to listening to what your gut instinct is telling you. You might get a sudden, strong feeling about what you have to do. Or you might get a feeling in your stomach that you know you are making the right choice.
Intuitive guidance, meditation, following your heart and gaining clarity by listening to your instincts are all forms of intuition. Leave your emotional reactions out of the process on what you are contemplating. You should have sudden clarity, not anger, when it’s your gut speaking.
2 – Weigh the Possible Outcomes
Your gut instinct is always an important source, but look at the decision from a rational standpoint, too. Weigh the pros and cons of each choice. Make a list of how each decision might affect you realistically. There should be a good balance between your emotional responses and the logical factors.
3 – You Take Pride In the Decision
When you make the right decision, you don’t have any regrets or shame in following your choice. Your actions won’t affect others in a negative or harmful way. When you make the wrong decision, you find yourself second guessing everything you do related to that decision. On the other hand, if you’re struggling making a decision between what you want and what you feel you should do, consider how you might feel about yourself after you’ve made the decision. Is it in line with the kind of person you want to be?
4 – You Find Your ‘Why’
Many times when we have a big decision to make, such as breaking off a relationship, we don’t consider the real root of why we want to make that decision. We tell ourselves stories about the potential benefits of the decision. For example, you think you want to take a new job in a different city. It’s easy to see the fun aspects, like trying something new and exploring living in a new city. But have you really looked at why you are considering changing jobs and moving? Is it because you are bored or haven’t made friends where you’re currently at? Or is there a deeper reason?
5 – You Sleep Well
Many times when we are faced with making an important decision, our body becomes stressed and we have difficulty sleeping until we make a decision. The same happens when you make the wrong decision. If you are tense or feeling anxious with racing thoughts when you think about the decision you’ve made, it’s possible you are following the wrong choice.
On the other hand, if your body feels relaxed, you sleep well and are excited when you talk about your decision, then you’ve most likely made the right one. Tune into the physical clues your body is giving you. It can help you connect to the unconscious feelings you have about a choice you are considering.
Making the right decision can be accomplished without going into full stress mode. Knowing you made the right decision comes from listening to your body, following your instincts and weighing the options.
Finding Direction When You’re Not Sure Which Choice Is “Right”
What do you do when you have two choices and they both seem to be right for you? How do you figure out the right choice?
There are several ways to find your direction when you seem to be lost.
Take the fear out of the equation.
Fear is a great motivator for indecision. Fear keeps you from actually making choices. It keeps you where you are. You have all these negative “What-if” questions. Like this writer, you have probably lived with fear all your decision-making life.
Remove the fear from the equation and then you’ll know the right decision. You have to turn the “what-ifs” into the opposite. For example, your biggest fear could be whether you can manage life on your own, outside the current relationship. The fear-based questions might be, “What if I tried and failed?” or “What would I do?”
On the flip side the questions without fear could be, “What if I tried and succeeded? What if I managed on my own and figured it out along the way?”
Identify the fear-based questions and find a way to remove them. List them on paper and cross them out, or remove them from the list completely.
Trust yourself.
You make decisions every day of your life. When it comes to the big ones, why are you not trusting yourself to make the right choice? You won’t always know you’re headed in the right direction or not, but you have to have faith in yourself to at least attempt to make the right choice.
It won’t always happen. You will make the wrong choice for you once in a while. But take it as a learning experience. And move on.
Collect more information.
If the choices seem identical, do some research on each one. The more information you have on the choices, the better you can compare them and choose the right one for you.
You can also talk to a trusted friend who knows about the situation or can offer alternative views for you to consider. Just don’t seek out too many different friends for advice, since you will get a lot of conflicting counsel.
Create another option if possible.
It might be possible to consider another choice. Is there another choice you haven’t considered yet? For example if you are torn between writing a fiction novel and a business book, consider writing both – one now and one later, or have them both written by a ghostwriter.
In the end maybe neither choice is right for you.
If you’ve been contemplating both choices for several weeks, it’s possible neither one is right. For example, you only have job offers in New York City and Chicago but love living in the Pacific Northwest. The best choice (if you can afford it), might be to reject those offers and look for something that suits your lifestyle better.
As you can see, getting lost when trying to make the right decision can lead to total indecision. The best thing you can do when you’re not sure what the right choice for you, is to do something. That might mean making more lists, doing more research, considering other options or learning to let go of your fear. That keeps you moving forward and headed in the right direction.
Tips on Making Good Choices
When it comes to making the right decisions, you have to know how. It can be very hard to choose the right thing. Use these tips to help guide you.
- Take time to actually think about what you are doing before you do it. Think about the results.
- Avoid making any rash decisions. Doing something because it feels right at the moment can lead to bad choices. Take some time, at least a few days, to really be sure about what you want. Find a calm and relaxing place to weigh your options.
- On the other hand, don’t over-think it either. Small things that won’t affect your life in a major way require small, quick decisions. The important decisions, like a job change, ending a relationship or buying a car are bigger decisions that require some thought.
- Finally, trust your own instincts and have faith in yourself for making the right choices. You instinctively know what is best for yourself. Don’t second guess yourself.
- List each of your choices on paper and list the possible outcomes of each choice on a different piece of paper. Lay them all on the floor in a line, or hang on the wall in a line. As you step in front of each one, close your eyes and imagine yourself following this choice. See the outcome. How does it feel? Are you relaxed, excited, terrified, scared, or bored? Where do your thoughts take you? What images fill your mind? Continue with the process until all the choices have been explored. The one that felt the best is the one you should follow.
- Dim the lights and tune into your emotions when thinking about your options. We tend to feel more emotions and be less objective in bright light. Dim lights puts you in a more relaxed and meditative state, helping you tune into your true emotions.
- Try to make important decisions early in the day. Decision fatigue is a real thing. You spend all day making choices, even simple ones. By the end of the day you are mentally drained.
- Listen to fast-paced music. It’s been shown that those who listen to faster music make better and more accurate decisions than those who listen to slow music.
Even the little choices you make every day require some thought. But the big decisions are the ones that call for reflection and trusting yourself.
Ten Ways to Know You Are Making the Right Choice
Making decisions can be hard — even three-year-olds have trouble when faced with the many flavors at their local Ben and Jerry’s. As we get older the decision-making process might get easier for some things, but other choices seem harder than ever.
When faced with making the right choice, you want to feel like you are making the best choice for you. Here are ten ways to help you see you are making the right decision.
1 – Pick the choice that lets you remain true to yourself. For example, let’s say you are considering a new career. Some of your options are to teach others the same values you have through writing, coaching people and speaking engagements that involve subjects that you don’t find right, or working with a team of employees who use questionable tactics. You are an introvert and prefer working by yourself. You get hives speaking in front of others, so coaching isn’t true to your nature -nor is working with a team that uses underhand techniques.
2 – Ask yourself if it’s a commendable choice. Is there anything about the choice you’re making that would make you proud? That would make your loved ones proud of you? On the other hand, does it feel like you need to keep the choice private or that has fear or shame attached to it? If so, it’s probably not the right choice. The choice that makes you feel proud and want to shout it from the rooftops is the right one.
3 – Is it a just choice? Is it sending a message of fairness? Or does it involve stepping on others in order to get what you want? Does that feel good to you? Is it something you can live with?
4 – Is this choice going to add value to your life in some way? Will you live better, be closer to your true calling, or add some other value to your life?
5 – Is the choice one of settling? Are you going for “good enough” or “it’ll do for now?” Maybe it’s not the right time to choose one of the options if it means you are settling.
6 – Does this choice let you look yourself in the mirror easily? Can you live with yourself and your actions? Are you content and happy with what you’ve chosen? Or are you ashamed and embarrassed?
7 – A good decision leaves you with a feeling of peace. Poor decisions can cause you to suffer from physical stress symptoms such as sick stomach, headache or chest pains. Good decisions lead to a relaxed body and mind.
8 – Do you lie awake worrying about your decision? You know you’ve made a good decision when you are able to get a good night’s sleep. Bad choices eat away at you, keeping you up at night, making it difficult to be at peace.
9 – Trust your body’s gut reaction. Are you tense and worried? Or are you relaxed and excited? Does your intuition tell you it’s the right decision?
10 – You no longer second-guess yourself when you make the right choice. You don’t have regrets and stop looking at the past. You are ready to begin working on the project or activity. A bad choice means you are keeping your options open, you keep straying to the “what-ifs,” and you continue to ask for other people’s opinions, seeking reinforcement about your decision.
You know you’ve made the right choice when your body is relaxed, you sleep easily at night and you are ready to get started working on the choice. Listening to your body’s reaction and going with your instincts is a sign you are making the right choices.
What to Do Next
Now that you know how to make a decision and when you’ve made the right one, it’s time to put it into action. List your options and the benefits each one has for you as well as any negative effects. Spend time thinking about each one and exploring how each outcome would feel to you. Does it make you happy? Are you comfortable with the outcome? Or are you ashamed and embarrassed to share it with others?
Making the right decisions for you depends on your values, and how the decision will affect your life and those around you.
